She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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