Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm đđ»đ
We are so blessed
Get here now. Thereâs a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasnât a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but whoâs askin
My hairdresser wonât do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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