she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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