My nipple is on Facebook.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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