We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize