I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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