I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
