is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
