I just cut my nipple shaving
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
