Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
