no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
