I feel great
I just peed on a car
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
