I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize