It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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