sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize