oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
