North Korea, Best Korea!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
