we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she told me i tasted like america
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
