I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
