Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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