So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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