When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
