I'm going to rape someone's good day.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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