I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
