..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
