similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
