i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
