U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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