I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize