I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
