party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
