dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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