i need an iv and a liver transplant
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she told me i tasted like america
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
