So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
