When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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