oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
thus making me awesome and them whores
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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