he wants to bone in the snuggie
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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