my vag is so smooth its legendary
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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