I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
