But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
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I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
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Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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