I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
ttyl tear gas
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
