Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize
