Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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