We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
