Heybabeimwearingurpanties
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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