Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
