Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize