I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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