Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
