That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
