But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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