When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
