I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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