The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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