threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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