Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
