i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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