Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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