Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
