Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
