he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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