You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
