Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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