omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
