He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
