Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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