So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
